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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25665967">Main Tumhara</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yass_Rani/pseuds/Yass_Rani'>Yass_Rani</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dil Bechara - Karman songfics [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dil bechara, Karman, M/M, Songfic, also like. angsty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:48:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,042</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25665967</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yass_Rani/pseuds/Yass_Rani</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Aman tells Kartik he’ll marry Kusum, and Kartik realises he’ll always be Aman’s no matter if his feelings are mutual after the wedding or not.</p>
<p>Angst bc I vowed to get back at Sam for that edit</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dil Bechara - Karman songfics [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1860964</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Main Tumhara</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+pareshan+gays+%3A%27%29">my pareshan gays :')</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Tum Na Hue Mere Toh Kya, Hmm Tum Na Hue Mere Toh Kya,<br/><em>If you can’t be mine, that’s all right. If you couldn’t be mine, that’s okay.</em></strong>
</p>
<p>It was hard.</p>
<p>It hurt him, he knew it hurt Aman too, but after listening to his boyfriend’s plan, Kartik had to step away.</p>
<p>Aman had made his decision. He’d marry Kusum and play the third wheel to her relationship. <em>Lie</em> to her, to himself and to Kartik his entire life.</p>
<p>Fighting against himself to snog some sense into his boyfriend, Kartik walked off, his heart weighing more than his sore muscles after yesterday’s little replay of most of his childhood, courtesy of Shankar Tripathi –</p>
<p>Boyfriend? Ex? Kartik didn’t know what Aman was to him anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Main Tumhara Main Tumhara Main Tumhara Raha,<br/><em>I am yours, yours. I have always been yours.</em><br/>Mere Chanda Main Tumhara Sitara Raha,<br/><em>Oh, my moon, I’ll always be your star</em></strong>
  <em>.</em>
</p>
<p>All he knew that no matter what, he was still Aman’s.</p>
<p>His heart was Aman’s, his life was Aman’s.</p>
<p>Even now, he would stay right where he was, just like the north star that stayed constant while the moon went and came as it wished, as much a beacon for it as his love was.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Rishta Raha Bas Rait Ka,<br/><em>Our relationship resembles sand</em><br/>Aye Samandar Main Tumhara Kinara Raha,</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Oh, my ocean, I’ll always be your shore.</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>Kartik sat on the wall overlooking the river. The waves of the ganga churned like his own emotions within, crashing against the shore, washing away a tiny part of it each time with a new wave, much like how Aman had swept away with parts of his heart each day from the moment they’d met, eventually ending up with more of Kartik’s heart than he himself had left.</p>
<p>The water flowed on, making its own path through the city, flowing ferociously while the shore stayed right there, no matter how much of it was being washed away with the water, letting it take everything without a single comment, happy enough with the knowledge that the sand slipped away with the water, some tiny part of the shore staying with those waves until the end.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Main Tumhara Main Tumhara, Tumhara Raha,<br/><em>I’m yours, I have always been yours.</em><br/>Tum Na Hue Mere Toh Kya…<br/><em>If you can’t be mine, it’s alright…</em></strong>
</p>
<p>Kartik was Aman’s, no matter what Aman said, what he did.</p>
<p>Kartik would always be Aman’s.</p>
<p>He always was, and always would be.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Tu Hi Pehli Guzarish Hasrat Bhi Tu Akhiri,<br/>You are my first wish and my last effort.<br/>Mahi Mere Maseeh Marzi Bata Kya Teri,<br/>Oh, my sweetheart, my God, tell me what your wish is</strong>.</p>
<p>Ever since he saw Aman, Kartik had only wished for him to be <em>happy</em>. To be satisfied and loved, and he knew he’d turn the world upside down and hang the stars on his windowsill just to see a smile on the man’s face.</p>
<p>Even now, even as Aman left him, lied about him, lied to himself, Kartik couldn’t help but try his best to see Aman smile. He wanted to know what Aman truly wished for, and he was ready to do it. He knew Aman didn’t want him to leave, he knew Aman still loved him, but he’d asked Kartik to back off, and he wouldn’t break his trust.</p>
<p>He couldn’t, no matter how much it hurt.</p>
<p>He couldn’t do anything to stop the wedding, because Aman had told him what he wanted to do, and Kartik could never say no.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Main Tumhara Main Tumhara Main Tumhara Raha,<br/><em>Yours, Yours, Yours, I have always been yours</em>.<br/>Mere Chanda Main Tumhara Sitara Raha,<br/><em>Oh, my moon, I have always been your star</em></strong>.</p>
<p>He would stay, even after Aman married her.</p>
<p>He was still Aman’s, even when Aman was technically someone else’s.</p>
<p>He promised himself he would stay, he would stay and do everything Aman asked of him. Even if it meant spending his entire life in a lie, giving up his dreams of marrying the man he loved, even if it meant living the rest of his life in a web of fake relationships.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Main Jaarhon Ke Mahine Ki Tarah, Aur Tum Ho Pashmine Ki Tarah,<br/><em>I’m like a month of winter, and you’re like Pashmina</em> <br/>Main Deewaron Ki Tarah Hoon, Tum Jaise Ho Dareecha,<br/><em>I am like the walls; you are like a window</em>.<br/>Main Bageecha Jo Tumne Seencha,<br/><em>I am the garden that you water</em></strong>.</p>
<p>Kartik remembered the winters he’d spent with Aman in their shared place in Delhi, wrapped up in his arms feeling like the softest, warmest wool shawls were draped over him.</p>
<p>He remembers the way Aman entered his life, chipping away at his walls until he made himself a window into Kartik’s heart and the way Kartik tried his best to break Aman’s walls and let him be himself, to show him how a life of freedom felt.</p>
<p>He remembers the way Aman brought true happiness into his life, when he felt like he was peaceful, the moments he felt like he could stay in forever, the times when he felt the relief cracked soil does when rain pattered upon it, the way a garden blooms brighter when it’s been watered.</p>
<p>And now he knows he’ll probably never feel like that again, and it <em>pulled</em> at his heart, heavy as a rock when he realised something that he <em>will</em> be feeling for the rest of his life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Tum Na Hue Mere Toh Kya…<br/><em>If you couldn’t be mine, that’s okay</em></strong>…</p>
<p>He would feel part of his heart missing, he would feel his heart break each time he saw Aman with Kusum, each time Kusum sneaked off after the wedding to meet Rakesh, each time Aman would sneak away to meet him – if he even wanted Kartik anymore.</p>
<p>He would feel Kartik in the emptiness of his apartment, in the quiet patter of Delhi’s rain, in the wind that would whip his hair when he rode on his bike.</p>
<p>He would feel Aman forever, even if Aman didn’t ever think of him again.</p>
<p>Kartik was Aman’s, no matter what Aman said, what he did.</p>
<p>Kartik would always be Aman’s.</p>
<p>He always was, and always would be.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So um, it’s a part of this chain of songfics I’ll be writing based on Dil Bechara’s music. I hope you like it! Please like and leave comments, I appreciate everything! You can message me or send an ask to be tagged or send in a prompt. Main masterlist and request list are linked in my Tumblr: Yass_Rani</p></blockquote></div></div>
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